Thursday, April 17, 2014

Easter 2014


I will be away from my computer for a few days after this post so I take this opportunity to wish you all a safe and peaceful Easter break.


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I have previously posted some humorous items about Easter, you can read them by clicking on:

Three good items from that post worth repeating:


What did Jesus say to his 12 apostles as he was being nailed to the cross?

"Don't touch my Easter eggs, I'll be back on Monday." 


For Easter I made my girlfriend a life-size model of a bunny rabbit purely from my own belly button fluff.

But it was creepy apparently.

Turns out she really wanted a 'Lindt' Bunny.


Arnold Schwarzenegger was upset that his mum never got him any Easter eggs.

She said, "I thought that you didn't like Easter anymore!" 

Arnie replied, "I still love Easter baby!"

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Here are some newer items, on the theme of Easter Island . . .


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What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole? 

Hot cross bunnnies 

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How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket? 

Only one, after that it’s not empty any more.


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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

More David Thorne


Caution: risque language


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 2.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Logo Design

Hello David,

I would like to catch up as I am working on a really exciting project at the moment and need a logo designed. Basically something representing peer to peer networking. I have to have something to show prospective clients this week so would you be able to pull something together in the next few days? I will also need a couple of pie charts done for a 1 page website. If the deal goes ahead there will be some good money in it for you.

Simon


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 3.52pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

Disregarding the fact that you have still not paid me for work I completed earlier this year despite several assertions that you would do so, I would be delighted to spend my free time creating logos and pie charts for you based on further vague promises of future possible payment. Please find attached pie chart as requested and let me know of any changes required.

Regards, David.



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 4.11pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Logo Design

Is that supposed to be a fucking joke? I told you the previous projects did not go ahead. I invested a lot more time and energy in those projects than you did. If you put as much energy into the projects as you do being a dickhead you would be a lot more successful. 


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 16 November 2009 5.27pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon,

You are correct and I apologise. Your last project was actually both commercially viable and original. Unfortunately the part that was commercially viable was not original, and the part that was original was not commercially viable.

I would no doubt find your ideas more 'cutting edge' and original if I had traveled forward in time from the 1950's but as it stands, your ideas for technology based projects that have already been put into application by other people several years before you thought of them fail to generate the enthusiasm they possibly deserve. Having said that though, if I had traveled forward in time, my time machine would probably put your peer to peer networking technology to shame as not only would it have commercial viability, but also an awesome logo and accompanying pie charts.

Regardless, I have, as requested, attached a logo that represents not only the peer to peer networking project you are currently working on, but working with you in general.

Regards, David.



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 11.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You just crossed the line. You have no idea about the potential this project has. The technology allows users to network peer to peer, add contacts, share information and is potentially worth many millions of dollars and your short sightedness just cost you any chance of being involved.


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 1.36pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design 

Dear Simon,

So you have invented Twitter. Congratulations. This is where that time machine would definitely have come in quite handy. 

When I was about twelve, I read that time slows down when approaching the speed of light so I constructed a time machine by securing my father's portable generator to the back of my mini-bike with rope and attaching the drive belt to the back wheel. Unfortunately, instead of traveling through time and finding myself in the future, I traveled about fifty metres along the footpath at 200mph before finding myself in a bush. When asked by the nurse filling out the hospital accident report "Cause of accident?" I stated 'time travel attempt' but she wrote down 'stupidity'.

If I did have a working time machine, the first thing I would do is go back four days and tell myself to read the warning on the hair removal cream packaging where it recommends not using on sensitive areas. 

I would then travel several months back to warn myself against agreeing to do copious amounts of design work for an old man wielding the business plan equivalent of a retarded child poking itself in the eye with a spoon, before finally traveling back to 1982 and explaining to myself the long term photographic repercussions of going to the hairdresser and asking for a haircut exactly like Simon LeBon's the day before a large family gathering.

Regards, David.


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.29pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

You really are a fucking idiot and have no idea what you are talking about. The project I am working on will be more successful than twitter within a year. When I sell the project for 40 million dollars I will ignore any emails from you begging to be a part of it and will send you a postcard from my yacht. Ciao.


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 3.58pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.10pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Anyone else would be able to see the opportunity I am presenting but not you. You have to be a fucking smart arse about it. All I was asking for was a logo and a few pie charts which would have taken you a few fucking hours. 


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.25pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Dear Simon

Actually, you were asking me to design a logotype which would have taken me a few hours and fifteen years experience. For free. With pie charts. Usually when people don't ask me to design them a logo, pie charts or website, I, in return, do not ask them to paint my apartment, drive me to the airport, represent me in court or whatever it is they do for a living. Unfortunately though, as your business model consists entirely of "Facebook is cool, I am going to make a website just like that", this non exchange of free services has no foundation as you offer nothing of which I won’t ask for.

Regards, David.


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 4.43pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

What the fuck is your point? Are you going to do the logo and charts for me or not?


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.02pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design



From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.13pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Do not ever email me again.


From: David Thorne
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.19pm
To: Simon Edhouse
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Ok. Good luck with your project. If you need anything let me know.

Regards, David.


From: Simon Edhouse
Date: Tuesday 17 November 2009 5.27pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Logo Design

Get fucked.

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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Under the Dome

Alvernia Studios, Poland

Are dome homes and buildings the way of the future?

They are strong, cheap, versatile, energy saving and are now being used in a variety of situations, including as emergency accommodation.

Some examples . . .

The Montreal Biosphere, formerly the American Pavilion of Expo 67. 

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Tent style dome 

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Dome home available from Kwickset Konstruction Kits, Sydney, Australia 
http://kwickset.net/domephotos.html 

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The Palais Bulles (Bubble House) in Tourettes-sur-Loup, France, designed by Antti Lovag, built between 1975 and 1989. Once it was the home of fashion designer Pierre Cardin. 

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Above and below:
Prefabricated Easy Dome houses, designed by Kari Thomsen and Ole Vanggaard. The first was built in 1992 for the Greenland Society of The Faroe Islands, now available in various sizes. 


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Above and below:
70 dome houses were built for villagers who lost their houses to an earthquake in Indonesia's ancient city of Yogyakarta. The monolithic domes can withstand earthquakes and winds up to 190 mph. 

The domes houses consist of two floors with an area of approximately 38 square meters . The ground floor is usually used for the living room , dining room , 2 bedrooms and kitchen . The upper floor is used for a family room . 



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Above and below:
The Inn Place in Brenham, Texas, with Monolithic Domes 


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Dome home by Solaleya, which features a circular loft with skylights and a solar array on top, rotating to orient itself towards the sun. They are also built to withstand hurricanes and earthquakes. 

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Fiberglass domes below the Los Angeles skyline, as a part of Project Genesis aimed at providing transitional housing for the homeless, 1993 

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Above and below:
Aso Farm Land, Kumamoto Prefecture, Japan, opened in 1995 




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Above and below:
A low impact Hobbit house, built by Simon Dale and his father-in-law in West Wales


A low impact Hobbit house, built by Simon Dale and his father-in-law in West Wales


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Monday, April 14, 2014

Monday Miscellany



Some odds, ends and personals . . .

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Sent by Rosie:


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In the same vein (risque language):

The hare and the tortoise are getting ready for their race, when the hare looks over and says, "Hey, you've got no hair."

The tortoise replies, "I'm a tortoise, I'm not supposed to have any hair."

"On your mark," says the starter.

"Look at you, you weird bastard," says the hare, "you've got no ears either."

"I'm a tortoise, I'm not supposed to have ears."

"Get set," says the starter.

"Oh my God," says the hare, "you are an ugly fucker... you're skin is all wrinkly."

"Look, I'm a tortoise. I'm supposed to have wrinkly skin."

Just before the starter fires the gun, the hare stands back and says, "I'm not racing you; you're Niki Lauda!"

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Sent by Thomas:


And in the same vein:




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By the way, I wondered how the expression "in the same vein" originated.  I couldn't really envisage similar items being expressed to come from a similar vein in a body, it just didn't make sense.  About the only explanation that did make sense that I came across is that it relates to gold mining.  Where miners located various gold deposits in different places, it was often found that they came from the same vein of gold, hence the expression.  That will have to do until something more definitive comes along.

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Sunday, April 13, 2014

Moments in History


The last canine post . . .

Between 1947 and 1991 there was a “Cold War” between the Western Bloc (the US and NATO pact countries) on one side and the Eastern Bloc (Russia and its Warsaw Pact allies) on the other side. It was termed the Cold War because there was no actual fighting. One aspect of the rivalry between the US and Russia was the Space Race, a competition between 1955 and 1972 for supremacy in spaceflight capability. Not only was supremacy in space seen as symbolic of ideological and political superiority, the technological superiority required for such supremacy was seen as necessary for national security.

On October 4, 1957, the Soviets were the first to successfully launch a rocket into space with their launch of Sputnik 1, a  satellite much larger than those we are used to today.   

Sputnik 1

The word "sputnik" means "fellow traveller" or "travelling companion", in this case a fellow traveller with the earth.

Suitably impressed, Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev notified the space flight ebgineers shortly afterwards that he wanted another rocket launched into space in 3 weeks to mark the 40th anniversary of the Russian Revolution. 

On 2 November 1957 the Russians launched Sputnik 2.




Wanting something extra to add more oomph to the occasion, the space flight engineers had placed a dog on board, Laika (meaning “barker" in Russian).  Laika, a stray dog (it was felt that strays would be tougher and hardier), was a female part-Samoyed terrier originally named Kudryavka (Little Curly).


The area in which she was confined was large enough to either sit or lie down and she was able to access gelatinous food. She was also fitted with sensors to monitor heartbeat and respiration.  A bag collected waste and she was wired to electrodes to monitor vital signs.

The spacecraft circled the earth every hour and forty-two minutes, travelling approximately 18,000 miles per hour. 





As the world watched and questioned how she would be brought home, the Soviets revealed that Laika would not be coming home, at least not alive. The short period to build the rocket had not allowed for a recovery plan.

Although there were various conjectures as to how Laika died and at what stage, it was finally revealed in 2002 that she died within 2 days and possibly within hours after launch from overheating, possibly caused by a failure of the central thermal control system.  In addition, part of the thermal insulation tore losse, resulting in temperatures of 40 degrees inside the capsule. The Soviets had, at the time, claimed that she had been euthanased by being fed a final poisoned meal; other reports claimed that she had survived the schedule 6 days and died from oxygen depletion.

On the sixth day the batteries in the spacecraft died and all life-support systems failed. The spacecraft continued to orbit the earth with all its systems off until it re-entered earth's atmosphere on April 14, 1958 and burned up on re-entry.

Although Laika proved that it was possible for a living being to enter space, her death also sparked animal rights debates across the planet. In the Soviet Union, Laika and all the other animals that made space flight possible are remembered as heroes.

Future space missions carrying dogs would be designed to be recovered. The only other dogs to die in a Soviet space mission were Pchyolka and Mushka, who died when Korabl Sputnik 3 was purposely destroyed with an explosive charge upon re-entry in order to prevent foreign powers from inspecting the capsule due to a wayward atmospheric re-entry trajectory on December 1, 1960.

Monument to Laika in Moscow

The Monument to the Conquerors of Space, unveiled in Moscow in 1964, also features Laika:





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