Welcome to another Funny Friday, readers.
Below are some collections of funny brief items, some of those items having been previously posted in Bytes. That doesn’t matter, they are worth a second outing, even if a lot them belong in Corn Corner.
Before going to the below items, here is another story from yesterday’s news. I call it Wry Humour Corner, also known as Fucking idiot of the Week. . .
Once upon a time there was a 22 year old rapper from Brooklyn who went by the name of Joey Bada$$.
Now Joey must have some talent because he has a Wikipedia entry devoted to him. But he must have been out to lunch when God was handing out brains.
I mentioned yesterday that even young schoolkids know not to look directly at an eclipse unless wearing protective eyewear. Not unless you want to kiss your retinas goodbye. But not so President Trump, a great role model for public health.
And not so Joey Bada$$.
No sirree, no protection for Joey, he just gonna stare at that big ol’ eclipse with no shades.
He asked his followers in a tweet “Am I crazy for watching the eclipse today w no glasses? I've sungazed before and afterwards saw colors for a whole day. I didn't die tho.” Thus was followed by another: “This ain't the first solar eclipse and I'm pretty sure our ancestors ain't have no fancy eyewear. Also pretty sure they ain't all go blind.”
What a wordsmith.
So Joey did what he said he would, then tweeted with (I am assuming) an unintended pun: “Due to unforeseen circumstances, my Cleveland, Chicago & Toronto shows on the Everybody Tour are cancelled.”
I hope he recovers with no effect on his sight but it proves an important point:
Joey Bada$$, he knew more,
Safety warnings he chose to ignore.
Looked at the eclipse with uncovered eyes ,
Winning the world’s Biggest Fuckwit prize.
Now Joey’s a sadder but wiser rapper,
Hope his eyesight’s not down the crapper,
There’s a lesson here for Joey and us:
Not all that The Man says is sus.
Donald Trump, on his way to Air Force One, tells his driver that he would like to drive for a little while, he hasn’t personally driven for ages. So the driver goes in the back and President Trump takes his place and starts driving.
He's a bit rusty and shortly after starting he sees police lights behind him. He pulls over and when the officer comes up to the window his eyes go wide. He says to President Trump "Hold on for a minute," and goes back to his car to radio the chief.
Cop: "Chief we have a situation. I've pulled over an important figure."
Chief: "How important? A governor or something?"
Cop: "No sir. He's bigger."
Chief: "So, what? a celebrity or something?"
Cop: "More important, sir."
Chief: "A major politician?"
Cop: "No sir, he's much more important."
Chief: "WELL WHO IS IT!?"
Cop: "Well actually I'm not sure. But Donald Trump is his driver."